The Great Marketing Adventure
by never to return
Summary: Yugioh is becoming quite popular, that is good. But no one seems to care about the Ghouls, that is bad. I guess that they will just have to take their revenge against the world in the stupidist way possible.


The Great Marketing Adventure  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, but I soon will! Ha ha ha!  
  
It was a beautiful sunny day in Battle city. The sun was out, birds were making that chirping noise that birds often make, children were smiling and playing , it was a happy day. Hey wait a second! That sounds like a horribly depressive day! Bah! No happiness to be found there, so we move elsewhere.  
  
`  
  
Well there was this shack on the outskirts of Battle city, it looked abandoned, and for some reason there was a big sign on the door that read "NOT the Ghoul's secret hideout!". I wonder why someone would hang a sign like that on their door.  
  
Inside the shack an important meeting was underway, members of the Ghouls sat at a large table, discussing plans for their evil empire.  
  
Loomis: Alright, I'm sure that you all know why I called you here.  
  
Umbra: What are you talking about? It was I who called them all here.  
  
Loomis: You moron, I did it!  
  
Umbra: I did it!  
  
Loomis: Me!  
  
Umbra: Me!  
  
Strings: Both of you shut up! It was I who summoned you buffoons!  
  
Yep, that's right, Strings just spoke. Actually he speaks quite often, you just don't speak mime so you can never understand him. Thankfully all the Ghouls are fluent in all dialects of mime, so we have no trouble here.  
  
Umbra: Fine, as long as it wasn't Loomis, I don't care.  
  
Strings: Would you two quit your bickering already? We must discuss our evil plans of evil doomyness.  
  
Pandora: Yes this is a talk that we must have, it's really important, especially to me.  
  
Loomis: Well what is it?  
  
Strings: Well you all know how popular Yugioh has become as of late.  
  
They all nod.  
  
Strings: Well I just don't think it's fair that Yugi and Jonouchi and even Anzu are getting so much attention and pay, while we received only a few episodes each and have been paid next to nothing.  
  
Pandora: You got paid? All I ever got for my three episode appearance was a handful of pistachios, and not even the good ones!  
  
Strings: This is why we must do something drastic, I recommend that we try to create Yugioh related products and market them.  
  
Pandora: That really doesn't sound like much of an evil plan.  
  
Strings: Yes but when we create our products, we shall not pay any royalties to the creators!  
  
Umbra: Wow that is a good evil plan, what do you think Edward?  
  
Edward: (I really don't feel like calling that old guy "rare hunter" so he will be Edward instead, he always struck me as being an Edward anyways) I love it, it's almost as good as me, the great Edward.  
  
Pandora: Yes it is such a great plan that I shall waste another sentence talking about how great it is. It is great, ham sandwich great!  
  
Loomis: I don't know, ham sandwiches are pretty great...  
  
Umbra: Not as good as turkey!  
  
Strings: Can we focus?  
  
Edward: Yes let us do that. By the way, what kind of products are we going to sell?  
  
Strings: It really doesn't matter, we can just stick a big Yu-Gi-Oh logo on any old thing. No matter what the product is I'm sure it will sell well and make us millions.  
  
Pandora: Well what are we waiting for? Lets make some Yugioh products!  
  
So strings got up and left the room.  
  
`  
  
Five minutes later, Strings came back in.  
  
Strings: I have done it, I truly am a genius!  
  
Umbra: So what did you make?  
  
Strings: Here in my hands I hold "The Yugioh sharp eye poking stick"!  
  
We then see that all this amazing product really is is an ordinary sharp stick with Yugioh written on the side.  
  
All: Wow.  
  
Edward: It truly is amazing.  
  
Pandora: It really is a great invention, but how exactly will this make us rich and allow us to take revenge against Yugi and the rest?  
  
Strings: Well it all has to do with the consumer marketplace. Every dollar spent on one of our products is one less dollar spent on their products. So while we shall become rich, they shall all become poor, it's a foolproof plan I tell you!  
  
Umbra: Can we take over the world too?  
  
Strings: Oh why not, we're bound to have some spare time afterwards.  
  
Umbra: Yay! This is great!  
  
Loomis: It's even better than that clown who gives out the pornography.  
  
`  
  
Outside the hideout.  
  
Porno clown: Ow my ears are on fire! *honks clown horn  
  
`  
  
Back inside.  
  
Pandora: Does anybody else hear honking?  
  
Edward: No it's just you.  
  
Pandora: Oh ok, just checking.  
  
Strings: Now that our product prototype is done we can start testing it.  
  
Pandora: Then let us be off!  
  
Pandora then held his arms straight out in front of him like Superman, but since he's not Superman, he didn't fly off or anything. Pandora just stood there like that until Loomis finally went up behind him and started making a whooshing sound.  
  
Pandora: Up, Up, and Away!  
  
And then they all flew away.  
  
And then they all landed inside the city.  
  
Umbra: Well I'll be damned! So Superman really does get all his power from making that whooshing sound.  
  
Strings: I am surrounded by idiots! Why ever did master leave me with them?  
  
Pandora: Because he hates you.  
  
Strings: Oh shut up, at least he didn't trick me into marrying some stupid mannequin!  
  
Pandora: We're in love damn you!  
  
Edward: Pandora stop your shouting! We had a reason for coming out here you know.  
  
Strings: Of course, the product testing.  
  
Umbra: But whom can we test it on?  
  
Loomis: Think! Think! Think! *punches head  
  
Umbra: Oh no! No Winnie the pooh references! Don't you make me beat your ass with a hefelump!  
  
Loomis: I've got it!  
  
Pandora: But we don't care.  
  
Edward: Oh the hell with this, lets just go find some simpletons!  
  
Strings: Simpletons it is, hey I think that I see one already.  
  
Sure enough a simpleton can be seen walking right towards them. It appears to be a preteen boy who has a slight obsession with Yugioh, as shown by his Yugioh t-shirt, Yugioh jacket, Yugioh shoes, Yugioh socks, Yugioh male short shorts, and Yugioh underpants. And yes we know that last one because we can see them, why on earth do these kids think it looks cool to have their butts hanging out over there pants?  
  
String: Um author?  
  
Tsuni: What?  
  
Strings: I don't think that kids have thought that's cool for a couple of years now.  
  
Tsuni: Fine then, the kid doesn't wear them like that because he thinks it's cool, he's just a moron. Now back to the story!  
  
Strings: Why hello there simpleton.  
  
Boy: Hi there Mr. weird lookin person.  
  
Strings: I shall guess from your many articles of clothing that you are a Yugioh fan.  
  
Boy: That's right, its my favoriteist show in the whole world.  
  
Strings: Then of course you know who I am.  
  
Boy: You do look familiar, let me think. Oh wow it is you ms. Cleo!  
  
Strings: -_-  
  
Boy: Are you going to tell my fortune?  
  
Strings: No, but I can do something even better.  
  
Boy: Make omelets?  
  
Strings: Maybe later, but look at this, it's the newest officially licensed Yugioh product.  
  
Boy: I MUST HAVE!  
  
Strings: It's the Yugioh sharp eye poking stick, and we want you to test it out.  
  
Boy: Tell me what to do!  
  
Strings: Well lets see *pulls out instruction manual. Step one: Hold up stick.  
  
Boy: Like this? *holds up stick  
  
Strings: Step two: Jam stick in eye.  
  
Boy: Okay *jams stick into his eye  
  
Strings: Step three: Raise hands and begin running in circles while screaming.  
  
Boy: *Throws up hands. Ahhh!!! My eye!!! It hurts!!! *starts running around in circles.  
  
Strings: Step four: Repeat process until out of useable eyes, once you run out, go find replacement eyes and start all over.  
  
Boy: Oh boy, that sure was fun! *falls over and starts convulsing.  
  
Strings: I guess that means that the product is a great success.  
  
Pandora: I'll say!  
  
Strings: Wow you guys sure are good at staying quiet for an extended period of time.  
  
Edward: We do what we can.  
  
Umbra: So does this mean that we can start mass producing the stick?  
  
Loomis: And become filthy rich?  
  
Strings: Yes it does, so let us start doing that now.  
  
'  
  
Da end of chapter one.  
  
If you sit here and twiddle your thumbs for long enough, chapter two will soon be posted. Of course that might take a while due to far too much school work and a desire to write more in my other stories.  
  
Moral: If you give a mouse a cookie, it will probably just slap you and demand some cheese. 


End file.
